The Journal #3

When I packed my bag for Bangalore almost two weeks ago, I put a T-shirt too many in it. There are reasons I didn’t want to be in my hometown. At that moment, the reasons felt overwhelming. So, I put my entire solid-tee-ensemble in my slightly smaller backpack.

If you’ve watched Up In The Air starring George Clooney, you’d know the metaphor about putting everything in your life into a backpack and then feeling the weight of it all. If you haven’t watched the movie, here you go.

The metaphor doesn’t precisely apply on the position I was in when I left Dehradun, but it isn’t far from how it felt either. I couldn’t breathe in the city for a while. Emotionally. Everything that was fulfilling up until last month felt suffocating all of a sudden. I think that’s what inner turmoil does to you.

So, I set out for Bangalore with a backpack on me. Although, I was there for something about data science, and although the trip was planned before the turmoil began, leaving for Bangalore was a right decision overall.

Then, I went to New Delhi and finally spent some quality time with my best friend after months. I stayed at his place, and as coincidental and impulsive as that was, I think it was for the best.

I left for Jaipur a little while later, but my visiting Jaipur only had three reasons behind it.

  • I needed laundry because, for every ten T-shirts I had, I had a pair of jeans. I had ten t-shirts. I had one dirty pair of jeans. Laundry was imminent.
  • I had an exam for my post-graduate diploma, so I needed to be stable and put in one place when that happened.
  • Jaipur is the only city in Rajasthan I was familiar with, so I could skip out on being a tourist there.

I spent a few days in Jaipur, got my laundry done, wrote my exam online and left for Pushkar. That was less than two days ago. Since then, I’ve made at least three new friends and countless acquaintances. I’ve walked around the markets of Pushkar, I’ve sat at the ghats, and just today, I watched a fantastic sunset.

That’s where I think the backpack monologue came to my mind. It’s been on my mind since I made this Instagram post. I guess I really feel the idea of having a mobile life.

In a conversation with a newfound friend yesterday, I realised that I don’t want to travel around the world with the only goal of seeing places. I don’t want to escape into the mountains.

Instead, I want to immerse myself in a city and stay there until I get tired of it. Once I am tired, I want to leave and continue the rest of my life including work–whenever I find it.

Is it a pipe-dream? Maybe. For now, I want to feel the weight of my backpack and find the things I need to take out of it before I burn it.

I think I’ve found a way to do that.

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