Bookmark #887

As we drove around in a packed car last night, a song came on, and it reminded me of a friend I have not met in years. Not because the song was notable in particular but because of how my friend who was driving was bopping to it. And it was so eerily similar that all I could think of for the next ten minutes was how all our friends are a glimpse of all others and how we are drawn to the same kind of people, often with the same, absurdly specific quirks, and this happens by no additional effort by us. Most of it is just an uncanny coincidence, and yet, it is true, and then, I went through a mental list of all my friends—those in the car, those back in the city I left a month ago, those in cities all over the world. What a confusingly wonderful thing it is to be a person, I wondered, and now, eighteen hours later, I am still wondering.

But I have found a weight off my shoulders lately, despite the heavy lifting of work last week, the never-ending series of chores, the urban loneliness you often feel when you’re combing back home in a cab from streets you do not fully recognise, despite all of it, I have felt belonged because of these pockets of time. The banter and laughter flow along the river of beer and whiskey endlessly. The days feel long, and it would have been frustrating once, but now, as if by some big magic, I welcome them with open arms. To come back home late in the night or early in the morning, given how you put it, has sparked indescribable joy in my heart. I have never been more glad to pack my bags and leave as I am in this first fortnight here. This new life seems unnervingly promising. Hope has trickled into my days and built a fortress around my life more than ever. So much hope, so much joy, what can you do about it but smile like an idiot as you write a few words down? I will keep my fingers crossed and my heart light with humility. A lot has happened, I believe, but something tells me a lot might happen just yet. For the first time in a long time, it is not merely my saying it. This life feels, truly feels like it is just getting started.