I did not get anything written yesterday, and even today, I am cutting it close, but then, such were the days, and what can you do when the days are such. Regardless, this is not the end of it. The next few days do not look too promising. Last night, I needed to think, and so I needed to walk. I did that, and I did not have any answers, although I had a little hope and some inspiration. A few sentences followed back home like stray dogs you befriend on the streets you walk through often, too. But then, there is nothing else to say, and I do not know where the sentences fit, not right now, not today. But there, I have noted them down in my trusty notes. I will get to them when I get to them.
Today, I can think of nothing else but people—those in my life, the problems they tell me of and the ones they never mention. And I can think of how my deadlines mean so little today. And I can think of how obnoxious the truly crucial things are in life, how they jump the line like those pesky people at the grocery store or when you’re out at the office getting some paperwork done and when someone cuts in front of you when you have already been waiting for long enough that the hours begin to feel like years, and when you, tired as you are, assert yourself and tell them to fall back. It does feel like that today, when I want to tell life to take a step back, when I want to tell it to take its place, that I have been waiting for years, that I have been waiting for so long. But I can think of all this like how we only ever think of tapping the intruder of the queue on their shoulder when, in reality, we simply let them do their thing. This is how it will be today, too. I will let life do what it does, and “it will all be fine” is all I will say to those in my life. That is all we can do, after all.
Things happen, and then we learn to live around them. Things happen and we write haphazard pieces, no proper train of thought connecting the many different bits which could, in theory, shine if used later. But sometimes, we need to put it all down as it is and walk to the bed a few words lighter. Sometimes, that is all we ought to do, too.