Bookmark #815

I woke up about thirty minutes ago, and it is still early. I have enough time to do everything I wanted to before leaving. Looking in the mirror, I noticed how the number of greys on the sides of my head had grown rampantly. Nothing I can do about it, though, except accepting that I am getting older, and so are all my friends. Played a board game with my friend the other day, and talking during the game as you often do intermittently while talking about the game, he said he was considering treatment to get his hair fall under control. Of course, I encouraged him. When someone we know wishes for something, our sole duty as a person in their life is to encourage them. The caveat that the wish is not harmful to anyone else stands, of course. To live in a world where we have to spell this out each time, a world without nuance, breaks my heart. Then, there are those older than you who remind you that nuance left this world long before you were born. It is a gift not bestowed to all. In any case, I thought about how, all of a sudden, time passed so quickly that it zoomed right through all of us, causing a dramatic and unbridled ageing that had been absent until two or three years ago. The great greying, as I often dub it, has begun.

What can you do? Time passes regardless. I am sure those far older than me have more things to say about it than I can at the moment. All I know is that I have never felt more unprepared for life than I do lately. There was this steadfast certainty in my life that has dissipated like the early morning fog of November in front of the sun. It seems I have no plan whatsoever for the years to come. I have thoroughly internalised the presence of possibilities I struggled with a few years ago. Once a plague of indecision, it is now hope I feel, but then, it shakes me up that there is no way you can prepare for everything. I reckon I understood it all wrong all along. To be ready for everything is not about contingencies; it is only about being open to whatever time leaves on your doorstep before ringing the bell and running away.