Bookmark #767

I stayed up the entire night sneezing, tossing, and turning, finding some angle that pushed enough air into my puffy sinuses. No luck, of course, so I called in sick and slept sitting up. Some things have ailed me for as long as I can remember. You’d think I would be used to these mild annoyances by now, but no, it is always a fresh experience.

The antihistamine I had in the morning did not do much, and it seems, finally, a hearty meal of scrambled eggs, warm and perfect, has done the trick. The coffee, scalding hot, sits beside this keyboard. It should reach a potable temperature by the time I write this piece. I am in a hurry because I could use all the warmth. If this piece takes me too long, the coffee will be lukewarm and watery. This is not usually concerning, but today, I do not have anything but self-preservation on my mind.

The most important thing is keeping my wits about myself. I think no other ailment grinds my gears as much as chronic allergies. Allergies to what, you ask? I wish I knew! When I was in the middle of my adolescence, a doctor conducted a peculiar investigation. He ran two tests.

The first was a detection test, which told whether you had allergies in case the runny nose was a farce. Lo and behold, it was an allergy. The test came back positive. The second was about finding what from. They tested my blood against over a hundred usual, expected allergens. There was no match.

“Interesting,” said the doctor. “It seems you are not allergic to anything.”

“But doctor,” I asked curiously, “the detection said yes, did it not?”

“The detection was wrong.” He said confidently.

I sneezed and asked, “Are you sure?”

“I am. We’ve tested your blood against everything you can contact regularly—no histamine flare-up. There is no allergy.”

I sneezed again. A trail of snot now began to fall out of my nose as I quickly grabbed my handkerchief.

“I am so confused. You can see I’m sneezing, and I am not sick,” I said.

He tapped his hands on the desk, and that was that. Since then, I have had regular days and whatever you’d call today. The only thing is to never run out of antihistamines and warmth. Yes, warmth.

That reminds me, where is my coffee?

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