Bookmark #705

A great sentence is not a great sentence in itself. It is lifted off the page by the padding around it, the context set by the paragraph it begins or ends, or if done correctly, lifts in turn. When you read a book, and suddenly, you reach a sentence that knocks the wind out of you, when you have to rest the book onto the couch or the lounger or wherever you are reading it, and when you have to stare off into space to realise what has just happened to you, it is not about the single sentence. It is about the buildup, the anticipation, the stage set until it makes its bold, grand entry. It is the effect of so many words, so much groundwork being laid for you. The sentence may be great in itself; sure, that could be true, too. But until you read it sandwiched between where it was meant to exist and not as a stray quote on some website or in some compilation by someone who only wished they could have written one of them, would you truly know the essence of it. There is nothing more essential than context.

And the context of a life is the most important thing. To assume we know things about others is a pit many fall into now and then. To believe we are even aware of the full context of our lives at all times is also an expectation that is seldom met. Take my days, for example: once again, the context of my days is that I seem to have gone out of my way and lived too much for others after a full year—maybe more—of keeping this affliction in check. I believe there are flaws we can never overcome, the fatal ones, and like my sentences, my life is, too, woven into that of others. But then, before this thought consumes me, I realise July is not here yet. It is still June, and i can still strike a balance. Half a year may have passed, but half remains still, and sure, even if I may have walked the tightrope of duty and desire for a while, all seems clearer once again.

I can still salvage this year; if I play my cards right, I can still salvage this life. Anything feels doomed when we realise time never stopped flowing; it also makes things saveable, that there is always more time.