So, our circus begins again. Today, we march through time with our little steps and continue our shenanigans. It is a quiet beginning, and I notice an increasing capacity for all things calm within me. It is a quiet beginning, and I would not have it any other way.
I came back to my apartment after lunch. Per custom, I made a cup of coffee, set the mug on the rug, and sat to watch a film. Then, I watched another, and then another. By the time the credits rolled over for the third one, the curtains of the night sky had rolled over the pale January day as well. At some point, while I sat with a blanket wrapped loosely around myself, I realised how calm it all is in my mind lately. It may be winter outside, but in my mind, it is always warm. The sun always shines, and there is warmth I can always draw from. There is little left to prove to anyone. There is little agenda left in my days. I only want things to keep going forward. It is an incredible desire. The universe may not take kindly to my quiescent but bold demand. But as I sat in the comfort of my own company this evening, I made it. I made my demand.
If there’s anything that has changed in how I look at it all, it is that my feet are sure of themselves now, and I rarely stumble and fall when I take a walk in the street. I fail to recall any recent instance of tripping over nothing. That is the note I will begin this year on if I must. I will start it with a sense of security unbeknownst to me before. But then, if I can avoid it, I will begin this year without a note at all. Notes set expectations, and we are all equally cognizant of what happens when that happens.
If I could make any wish for the next cycle, I would make no wish at all, and if I were compelled to set an intention, I would try and pick nothing. I believe this and only this is what I have learned about life—an axiom. Everything else is a corollary to it.
My heart is unwavering, my steps are sure, and I am ready to dance to whatever tunes time brings along. I have never really felt a desire for a resolution anyway. I have ever only jumped through the hoops.