Bookmark #592

Before you know it, you’ll have lived some parts of life over and over again. You’ll have moments that look and feel the same, and at first, it will feel like it is all life has to offer. But then, as all things do, your cynicism will temper, too. Soon, it is all you will look forward to: repetition. The repetition of passive conversation as you sit in a sunlit room surrounded by the people you love will make you feel alive. And you will meet people for the first time again, and see things for the first time again, and the repetition you despised will become what you crave. You will want more of it because you know things don’t last as often, and if they do, it is never as long as you think they will.

I, too, was aloof about this until right about a few hours ago when I first thought, “I’ve been here before, in this exact moment.” Then, as I closed my eyes and let everything around me engulf me, it occurred to me that it was supposed to be this way. There are many things we learn through a soft suggestion of fate, and the specifics of what made what happen are rarely anyone’s concern. The important thing is that things do happen, and we do learn things now and then, and today, I learned that the nature of life is repetition. The trick, probably, is to not fight this but let it all happen and, if possible, find what’s new in it.

Things repeat simply so we can watch them again, watch them closely and pick them apart. And as it has been in my case, and in my experience, sometimes the only thing to do is accept the repetition. The scrutiny mostly happens itself.

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