Bookmark #563

The morning seems further away in time than the day I have spent, which is evident and true when you consider the mathematics of the hours. But we rarely go with how things are; we almost always trust how things feel. And as far as feeling is concerned, I remember waking up early and brewing coffee but not getting a chance to drink it since I had to leave to meet a friend over an early breakfast. It seems all I remember from that moment is getting a sip, smelling the aroma, and thinking: what a waste of a good drink; I did not even write anything. One may ask: why make an effort when you know you will not drink it? And then, I’d ask them why do we do anything? Habit. I did it out of habit like most people live out of habit. I only brewed a cup of coffee; it could be much worse.

And then, I spent the day in drudgery. Working. Talking, working and eating, and only thinking about wastefulness, not in the sense of waste of coffee, the food, but waste of coffee, the fuel. I can write well without coffee or drink. Still, the morning hit of the simple, deliberately brewed cup must not be underestimated. It changes all the words; it makes them better. And then, after the day, I went to dinner, and the drinks in me reminded me of the coffee I had wasted in the morning. On my walk back to the apartment, this was all I thought about. It was good laughter and good drink, and we must not waste it. We must not waste it twice in one day. Something good must come out of it in the end. All regret is only that and nothing else: a waste of a good coffee or drink. It was a good day, we tell ourselves; I should have done more to remember it clearly.

When I came home, I hastily took my shoes and socks off, threw my jacket on the same chair I stumbled towards, and began writing. I must not waste this moment, I thought. I am happy right now. It has been a day; it has been a day full of love and laughter. There is nothing in me that would waste it. No, ma’am, I would sit down and write about it all. I would sit and write and keep writing until I fell asleep.

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