I walked around town again today. It makes me glad how the unfinished sidewalk, under construction for the longest time ever looks beautiful now that it’s complete. The city is really coming together if you ask me. Truth be told, now that the dust has settled, so am I.
It’s been a while since I went on one of my regular strolls. I’m not sure if my doing that again has any significance at all, but to me, it is the only thing that matters as December slowly folds into yet another January.
I have little to show for this year, really, besides the fact that I’m still walking. But this was like most years if you ask me. If you asked anyone else, they’d be able to give you a better tally of what I did or did not do this year. I was always my meanest critic.
All that said, I don’t understand where to begin or where to end this little barrage of words. I believe it’s in line with how I walk, I barely know when I begin or when I stop. I couldn’t even tell you where this year began for me and where it ended.
I couldn’t tell you many things if you ran into me on this patio I’m sipping my coffee on and writing these words from. I’m unsure, clueless about who I am or what I do or where I’m going, but I know one thing.
I know while I’m sitting on the exact table, having the same coffee I’ve had all year, I’m happy now. I’ve left much behind, hidden in corners of most months this year. Now, I’m tucking a memory in the bookend of December, hidden amongst some flowers wrapped around a wooden beam. It’s made it easier to walk ahead, all this leaving things behind.
I reckon I had been walking away from myself throughout this year if not all years before this one. Lately, I’ve been walking towards myself. I couldn’t tell you how it feels. I’m only learning to feel happy myself.
You had to be here to see it on my face. I couldn’t tell you how it feels. Only that, it feels like the first day of my life.
You can make of it what you may.