Bookmark #156

People want so much in life, you know? I’m not like that. I’m the most unambitious man you’ll ever meet. I don’t have a lot of goals. I have one—the café.

I see a misty hill, and the rain pattering, softly. I see the dimly lit street lamps, rusted and trying their best to illuminate the foggy, winding path. I see a wooden door with a bed of flowers nearby, standing between the shivering blue cold and the golden warmth inside.

I can hear the faint music emanating from it; it’s very specific. I see the counter, and I see myself behind it. Tired, somewhat old, slightly dejected with life but also, relaxed and slow and grateful. I see a few people inside—the regulars. Who else would come to that lonely hill?

I watch myself talk to people about life and engage them in conversation about all sorts of ideas. I see my younger self in the boy who visits sometimes, alone yet comfortable. I find myself never missing or forgetting the coffee each person likes… or tea, for that matter.

Then, I watch as I tell everyone it’s closing time. I see myself retiring to my living quarters, right above the café. I clean up and fix myself some sort of dinner. Then, I begin to write—nothing of significance, just musings—irrelevant words, not too different from the ones you’re reading right now.

Why then do I keep running, doing as much as I can right now? It’s precisely because I see the café, vividly. It’s almost as if I travelled ahead in the future and got a peek through the window. But, I don’t know how to get there. I feel life will happen, and I will get there when I do.

So, when I do, I want to be able to talk to those regulars, and I want to be able to share stories, and I want to be able to offer them books and coffee for chump change. I want them to run into the door to seek warmth, and I want them to find it there.

And so, here I am, the most unambitious man you’ll meet today doing everything in his power to remain just that. I need all these stories, and I need this life, and when it’s time for the café to pop up, I’ll know. It has come to my realisation that one always knows when the right time for something arrives.

Anyway, would you like a cup of coffee?

// if you want to support this walk to nowhere, you can pitch in here